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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

My Hijab Experience





The hijab experience is something so unique and empowering. A lot of people wouldn't think so since that is what society wants people to believe. Society tells you to show more skin. People looking at you makes your ego larger, therefore, makes your self-esteem heightened.  I have never liked for someone to look at me. It was okay in school you know, you felt like someone but then you realized that those stares didn't mean what you thought it did. Someone people think "oh this person is smiling at me they must be interested in me." No that's not what they are always interested in. You are not your flesh. So, me showing skin for guys quickly died out and when they looked I rolled my eyes and would suck my teeth at them.  What did I really expect? I thought I looked better that way or something but I attracted the wrong attention. That was in middle and high school. Now that I am an adult imagine the cat calling I get. I decided I don't care how hot it is outside. Allah (SWT) wants me to cover my body so I do. I try to dress as modest as my pockets will allow me to. Basic long sleeve tops and cardigans do the trick. I was still wearing my hair out. I noticed when I got into arguments with people my poor hair suffered. It would be dry and my scalp would become inflamed as if someone put something in my hair I was allergic to. So I began to wear turbans. That was my go-to style 8 years ago. Yesterday a man asked me if I was a Muslim because I didn't wear a hijab so it wasn't obvious however I always had my turban on. I told him yes and he began to ask me a series of questions. He was almost too interested but kind. Today I woke up and I told myself this is the day I will do it. I will wear my hijab proudly and unapologetically. So after salaat, I kept my hijab just as I had put it on this morning for Fajr and walked out to go to work. No cars honked. No one looked back. It was wonderful. Almost as if I was invisible today. I loved every moment of it.  When I made it to work the people didn't even say good morning. I mean some would think that was rude but I felt at people. I don't want to come off as unapproachable but sometimes it's nice to just be able to walk and think without distractions. I smiled at one woman and she just put her head down at me. don't know why. It must be that Islamophobia thing that has been going on for ages. I didnt mind it though.  Everyone has an opinion all I can do is carry on with my life. As long as it doesnt harm me or my children I didn't care too much why she did that. I guess she had some thoughts going through her head as well this morning.  I went into work and clocked in.  No one said a word, expect one coworker. He ask me why was I wearing a hijab. I told him I was muslim and he just hugged me as if I lost a family member. It was different, but welcoming. How is a person suppose to greet you as a muslim if you do not look like one? They just wouldn't know the sense of community was refreshing. The respect in the islamic religion is one of the most high. I reverted because I had a talk a very serious talk with Allah (SWT) as to why my life was going the way it was and he showed me that it was because I lost touch with my creator. I made that decision to become a muslim. I'm glad I did because I have gained so much more than what I expected to.  Respect on a different level. I doubt I will ever take off my hijab.

1 comment:

  1. It's beautiful to read you feel so confidant in your faith to wear your hijab in public.

    ReplyDelete

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